Guilty as Charged: I have the tendency to be Martha and not Mary
We all have heard the story of Martha and Mary in the bible. (Luke 10:38-42) Martha was busy “serving” the Lord and Mary sat at the feet of Jesus to learn and commune with Him. At some point, Martha complains to Jesus that her sister is not helping her with the work. Jesus explains to Martha that her sister is doing the most important thing, listening to him. Now, for years people have been telling me to slow down because I was “doing” too much. I admit I had the mentality, “I’ll rest when I go to heaven” or “You aren’t doing anything so don’t try to slow me down.” On the flip side of that, I’ve had people make me feel guilty when I wanted to take much needed rest and rejuvenation. I’ve been weary, but the need to “people please” or the feeling of disappointing God caused me to keep pushing. The result: a tired Carmille. The truth is…we can’t keep pouring out if we are not being poured in to. We can become so bus...
Great article. Yes, you're right...ladies MUST beware. But they must also be AWARE as well.
ReplyDelete(1) Any lady (woman) who attends church, whether helping in ministry or not, is at risk--predators are merely looking for anyone they can attack and will try to gain the victim's confidence, looking for weaknesses (sometimes using their power and authority as a pastor to create weaknesses);
(2) In most states there are no laws against pastors assaulting ladies over the age of 18. This means there is no protection from our society to help if a lady is victimized. Don't count on the church to help--the church--generally as a whole-- historically blames the victim and exonerates the predator, even in churches that supposedly have a plan to handle these cases (such as Presbyterian Church USA).
(3) If a lady is assaulted it's because she was victimized by a predator who was in authority over her--much like incest in a family. It takes YEARS to get over the damage done, and some victims never get over what happened. Many leave the faith altogether, finding it too difficult to separate the "love of God" from what the evil pastor predator did to them.
(4) Victims are never at fault for the "crime" but they are generally blamed for what happened.
So, thanks for your article! I hope all ladies (and women), and even men, become aware that there is a need to beware of pastor predators in church. Statistically, any church with more than 3 pastors has at least one pastor predator on staff--another bit of information to be aware of.
Name withheld to protect myself
Thanks for sharing! What you have said is so true!!! The best thing we can do is keep sharing information and bring light to this disturbing issue!
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