Carmille Akande

The holidays are a special time of year for many people, but it is also a difficult time.   This is a special time to gather with family and friends to celebrate.   It’s also a time when we miss our loved ones who have passed away.   I’ve been talking about my grandma, granddad and Uncle Roger nonstop these past few weeks.   I realized today that it’s probably because I miss them so much and especially this time of year.   My grandmother was not a sweet old lady.   She also wasn’t Madea (however, she did have a pistol).   She was one of a kind and I loved her very much.   She was my ace.   She was my best friend.   We had special things we would do together.   At Christmas time she would store all of her gifts in her closet and then that one special day, she would bring them out and I would wrap them for her.   We would sit on her bed and talk for hours.   She would tell me stories of her childhood and also report the...

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My friend Ms. Mary's* funeral is today.  When her son told me she passed away, I felt like I had been punched in my stomach.  I was shocked.  I was in disbelief.  I was in pain.  As tears began to flow down my face, I recalled all the statements we as Christians say at this hard time.  "She's in a better place now."  "...to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord."  "She's rejoicing in glory now."  "She's gone to be with Jesus."  While I know these statements are true, it still hurts to lose someone you love.  Even though they are sick, you are hoping and wishing for a miracle.  You are anticipating your loved one sharing their great testimony one day about how God healed them from cancer.  You wait, you hope and you pray.  When it doesn't happens, you remember that going to heaven is the "ultimate" healing, but you wonder why God didn't heal them here on Earth.  You wonder why your prayers w...

Cancer.  It's the word that we all fear.  The word that has caused so much hurt and pain in the United States.  I don't think there is one person who has not been touched by cancer.  In my family, we have both survivors and those who have passed away.  Even though we've had many medical advances, every time we hear the word cancer, we always assume the worst.  When we hear the word cancer, our minds go from diagnosis to death in a twinkling of an eye.  On Friday night I was told that a sister in Christ was diagnosed with cancer.  I was told that she was extremely sick and that she couldn't walk.  My heart grew sad.  I feared the worst and I felt so sorry my my sister.  As I searched for magazines and books to take her (she loves to read), I fought back the tears.  You see, I first met Ms. Mary* at the homeless shelter.  She came to my weekly bible study class.  After she transitioned out of the s...

How many times have we heard the saying, “I have more male friends than female friends.”   Or, “I really don’t deal with other women like that.”   “What does she have on?”   “She looked me up and down.”   The truth is, many women don’t trust other women.   We are envious, jealous, and downright mean to each other. But why?   God has uniquely made all of us in His image.   He says that all of us are fearfully and wonderfully made.   So, why the drama?   It seems as though this behavior starts at an early age.   We have one group of girls who have a sacred club that other girls aren’t invited to.   We choose to bully, make fun of, or isolate other girls.   Why?   It has been my experience for no reason at all.   Women tend to shun other women just because they feel the woman is prettier, smarter, and better than them in some way.   I’ve also seen the flip side of that, where females are isolated because we f...

We all have heard the story of Martha and Mary in the bible.  (Luke 10:38-42)  Martha was busy “serving” the Lord and Mary sat at the feet of Jesus to learn and commune with Him.  At some point, Martha complains to Jesus that her sister is not helping her with the work.  Jesus explains to Martha that her sister is doing the most important thing, listening to him.  Now, for years people have been telling me to slow down because I was “doing” too much.  I admit I had the mentality, “I’ll rest when I go to heaven” or “You aren’t doing anything so don’t try to slow me down.”  On the flip side of that, I’ve had people make me feel guilty when I wanted to take much needed rest and rejuvenation.  I’ve been weary, but the need to “people please” or the feeling of disappointing God caused me to keep pushing.  The result: a tired Carmille.  The truth is…we can’t keep pouring out if we are not being poured in to.  We can become so bus...

            Imagine a young girl growing up in a small town going off to college then law school.  She then takes the bar examination and becomes a licensed attorney.  She has accomplished what most people would call the American Dream; however, one thing is missing…her father.  You see, her father was deported when she was 3 years old and they have been separated ever since.  She has lived 30 years without him.              Her father came to this country from Nigeria.  He saw America as the land of opportunity.  Her mother tells her that before coming to America he believed the streets were paved with gold.  I’m not sure if his statement was figurative or literal, but I do know that he saw it as a wonderful opportunity.  Her father came to this country as a student on a Student Visa.  He was able to obtain a bachelor’s and a master’s degree.  H...