Carmille Akande

Cancer.  It's the word that we all fear.  The word that has caused so much hurt and pain in the United States.  I don't think there is one person who has not been touched by cancer.  In my family, we have both survivors and those who have passed away.  Even though we've had many medical advances, every time we hear the word cancer, we always assume the worst.  When we hear the word cancer, our minds go from diagnosis to death in a twinkling of an eye.  On Friday night I was told that a sister in Christ was diagnosed with cancer.  I was told that she was extremely sick and that she couldn't walk.  My heart grew sad.  I feared the worst and I felt so sorry my my sister.  As I searched for magazines and books to take her (she loves to read), I fought back the tears.  You see, I first met Ms. Mary* at the homeless shelter.  She came to my weekly bible study class.  After she transitioned out of the s...

How many times have we heard the saying, “I have more male friends than female friends.”   Or, “I really don’t deal with other women like that.”   “What does she have on?”   “She looked me up and down.”   The truth is, many women don’t trust other women.   We are envious, jealous, and downright mean to each other. But why?   God has uniquely made all of us in His image.   He says that all of us are fearfully and wonderfully made.   So, why the drama?   It seems as though this behavior starts at an early age.   We have one group of girls who have a sacred club that other girls aren’t invited to.   We choose to bully, make fun of, or isolate other girls.   Why?   It has been my experience for no reason at all.   Women tend to shun other women just because they feel the woman is prettier, smarter, and better than them in some way.   I’ve also seen the flip side of that, where females are isolated because we f...

We all have heard the story of Martha and Mary in the bible.  (Luke 10:38-42)  Martha was busy “serving” the Lord and Mary sat at the feet of Jesus to learn and commune with Him.  At some point, Martha complains to Jesus that her sister is not helping her with the work.  Jesus explains to Martha that her sister is doing the most important thing, listening to him.  Now, for years people have been telling me to slow down because I was “doing” too much.  I admit I had the mentality, “I’ll rest when I go to heaven” or “You aren’t doing anything so don’t try to slow me down.”  On the flip side of that, I’ve had people make me feel guilty when I wanted to take much needed rest and rejuvenation.  I’ve been weary, but the need to “people please” or the feeling of disappointing God caused me to keep pushing.  The result: a tired Carmille.  The truth is…we can’t keep pouring out if we are not being poured in to.  We can become so bus...

            Imagine a young girl growing up in a small town going off to college then law school.  She then takes the bar examination and becomes a licensed attorney.  She has accomplished what most people would call the American Dream; however, one thing is missing…her father.  You see, her father was deported when she was 3 years old and they have been separated ever since.  She has lived 30 years without him.              Her father came to this country from Nigeria.  He saw America as the land of opportunity.  Her mother tells her that before coming to America he believed the streets were paved with gold.  I’m not sure if his statement was figurative or literal, but I do know that he saw it as a wonderful opportunity.  Her father came to this country as a student on a Student Visa.  He was able to obtain a bachelor’s and a master’s degree.  H...

Gifted for Leadership: Trapped in the Church

Recovery is a long and hard process.  In fact, when we go through a painful experience, we often wish we can take a pill and make the pain go away.  The truth is, many times we must go through a healing process in order to be made whole.  Healing is an uncomfortable process.  We often feel weak and vulnerable.  We don’t like the pain, so we try to self-medicate.  We medicate on drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating, sex and relationships.  In fact, we make a lot of poor decisions based on what has happened to us in life.        However, it does not have to continue to be that way.  I know a man name Jesus who can heal you, who can cleanse you and who can set you free.  Jesus was not only a man, but He was/is God in the flesh!  Whatever your issue is, He can set you free!!  No what you have been through…you can recover!!! If its alcoholism, “you can recover” If its drug addiction, “you can recover”...

My good friend Ed Adams told me shortly before he passed away that our desire to settle down causes us to "settle."  Ed was such a godly man who encouraged me to wait for God's best.  As I talk to men and women about their relationship issues, Ed's comment always comes to mind.  God created us to be social beings and we all have desire for companionship, but at what cost.  We often know what we deserve and what God wants us to have, yet loneliness creeps in and causes us to bend our standards. I've even heard women say, "A piece of a man, is better than no man."  Since when?!?!?!  You are worth more than that!  And, fellas you are too!!!  The bible says that we are the apple of God's eye!  Zechariah 2: 8  We are fearfully and wonderfully made!  Psalm 139:14  Ladies, a man should love you as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her!  Ephesians 5:25  This is a sacrificial love!  This love is not physic...