Sexual Bondage...If I Only Knew

Can I introduce you to Samara* She's a lady I saw for a split second, but through my friend she slipped me a couple pages of notes to share with me a snippet of her life. Samara is a resident of a transformative community I volunteer for named Butterflies15. Samara wishes she could turn back the hands of time…just for a moment…just for a second. If she could have just a moment of her life back she would make a different decision. She wouldn't have stepped into that car…not that car…not that car with that person.

Samara writes to her younger self…

I'm writing you this letter to warn you…to warn you about that warm August day as you were walking home. You had made up your mind to walk, but when that person pulled up and offered you a ride…you let your tired feet and hot body take a seat in his car. Why walk when you can ride? After all I know him…or least I thought I did…

You see he looked so harmless, so why not get in? I mean it's not like I was hitch-hiking…I know him…

When I got in the car and we started to make small talk, but as I was talking my brain started to alert me that we were driving in the opposite direction of my house. Now, I know where I live and I know this person, but why is he driving the opposite way. He drove me to a white house on the other side of town. Wait, this isn't my house.

I asked the man, "Why are we here?" He responded, "This is your new home." I felt this fear come over me. I couldn't understand it. I don't live here. This is not my home. What do you mean this is my new home? What's happening? I thought I knew you.

This man forced me into the house and locked the door behind me. He set the alarm and for the next 24 hours things happened to me that I can't even speak of. How can I tell you? How can I write them down? How can I articulate the evil that took place?

I cried the entire night and for 3 years I was held captive. He told me that he knew where I lived and that he would kill my family if I left the house. I believe him. I knew what he was capable of.

This man forced me to use drugs and I became addicted. I became dependent on him daily "to get well" each day. I was eventually able to break free from his grip and go into hiding while he was jail. I was free! I became drug free!

But…wait…I'm not me anymore…who am I…what happened to that girl walking on that August day. She's gone. I don't know my old life anymore. My life is different. I am different.

I went back to the life I had known for 3 years. I started selling my body for money. I started using drugs again…it was my life…it was my way to survive.

For 15 years I lived that way…I don't want you to follow my path, so please don't get in that car.

*Name has been changed

If you are interested in volunteering or giving to help people like Samara please go to


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